Spring Semester Countdown: 14 More Days

and i am going nutz (that’s what the kids say these days). i have a practically full tivo and i don’t want to watch any of it. this is nothing new though, since i already finished

the bachelor

true/real beauty (the actual title escapes me)

gossip girl (don’t judge)

momma’s boys (again, don’t judge.)

i even took up knitting! i did all of this in a 6-hour time frame!

if the spring semester doesn’t start soon, i’m going to start drinking coffee and re-locate to starbucks. i’m sure i have a screenplay somewhere in my head. if not, i’ll probably just order a hot chocolate and write on imdb message boards and comment on gawker posts like i always do.

Filed under: boo, crafty, lazy, life support, reality tv, school, television, we are the internet

Let’s Get Ethical

Normallly, I laught at dating website commercials. But lately, eHarmony has been getting just a tad out of hand.

EXHIBIT A:  (The only exhibit)

Really? They expect me to believe that Joshua’s fine ass had a page on eHarmony!?

They must be nuts. Honestly, if he was in fact on eHarmony and homegirl hasn’t had her throat slit yet, we need to put her in a safehouse. If someone that goodlooking had to resort to internet dating, then there is no hope left in humanity.

If he can’t get a date without the magic of technology, he either:

       A. Is a serial killer, Patrick Bateman style (Look it up, kids)

       B. Lives on his family’s beet farm, Dwight Schrute status (Again, look it up kids)

       C. Is like that guy in that Julia Roberts movie (whose name escapes me) who beats a woman’s ass if she doesn’t straighten the towels in the bathroom.

So I’m just going to keep my theory that they hire actors (which is really everyone’s first theory right? Say yes).

I’ll keep you updated on further advances in my internet dating research advances.

By that, I mean I’m going to head over to the Missed Connections page at craigslist for my normal Sunday evening entertainment.

Filed under: advertising, back off my man b!@&#!, homefield advantage, lazy, media misery, reality tv, television, um hmm girlfriend, we are the internet