How To Adapt Books For Television

psyyyyych! (i’m bring that back, in case i didn’t tell you) i don’t know how to adapt books into tv shows, but that’s okay, neither does anyone else!

i’ll start with exhibit a: sex and the city

 

i’m actually not even qualified to determine how legit the transference of SATC is from book to tv to movie, mostly because the only reason i watch sex and the city is because one night i was watching 48 hours mystery and accidentally slipped onto my tv remote (save for another post). low and behold, sex and the city was on and i couldn’t stop watching it. i used to not be able to stand sjp ( sara jessica parker. i’m trendy like that) except for in failure to launch (again,save for another post and don’t judge) and considered myself to be the last person to watch this show. but now i can’t stop, i even downloaded the first season and have a season pass on my tivo.

i digress.

but now, the real reason i am writing this post:

exhibit b: gossip girl

i don’t think this really even counts as a book to tv adaptation. because i’m pretty sure all they did was read the first book while they where drunk at a a christmas party and then locked it away in a company desk. let’s be for real here for anyone who has read the book(s):

 

1. chuck and blair?!? for real?
2. chuck is straight?!?!?!?!? again, for real??
3. vanessa? where are her doc martens? her shaved head? her dgaf attitude???
4. jenny? where is her curly brown hair? her strange height? where are her unnaturally large breasts?
5. and where is chuck’s pet monkey, cupcake???

WHY?!?! at least bring back cupcake, that devious little monkey. i honestly don’t even care about everything else, just give me cupcake. and don’t even get me started on rufus. or aaron rose, he’s supposed to have dreads and smoke herbal cigs, instead he’s a douchey swinger.

what did i do to deserve this?

Filed under: adaptations, boo, books, fashion faux pa, gossip girl, hot mess, life support, oh no you didn't, pop culture, read, television

Spring Semester Countdown: 14 More Days

and i am going nutz (that’s what the kids say these days). i have a practically full tivo and i don’t want to watch any of it. this is nothing new though, since i already finished

the bachelor

true/real beauty (the actual title escapes me)

gossip girl (don’t judge)

momma’s boys (again, don’t judge.)

i even took up knitting! i did all of this in a 6-hour time frame!

if the spring semester doesn’t start soon, i’m going to start drinking coffee and re-locate to starbucks. i’m sure i have a screenplay somewhere in my head. if not, i’ll probably just order a hot chocolate and write on imdb message boards and comment on gawker posts like i always do.

Filed under: boo, crafty, lazy, life support, reality tv, school, television, we are the internet

Let’s Get Ethical

Normallly, I laught at dating website commercials. But lately, eHarmony has been getting just a tad out of hand.

EXHIBIT A:  (The only exhibit)

Really? They expect me to believe that Joshua’s fine ass had a page on eHarmony!?

They must be nuts. Honestly, if he was in fact on eHarmony and homegirl hasn’t had her throat slit yet, we need to put her in a safehouse. If someone that goodlooking had to resort to internet dating, then there is no hope left in humanity.

If he can’t get a date without the magic of technology, he either:

       A. Is a serial killer, Patrick Bateman style (Look it up, kids)

       B. Lives on his family’s beet farm, Dwight Schrute status (Again, look it up kids)

       C. Is like that guy in that Julia Roberts movie (whose name escapes me) who beats a woman’s ass if she doesn’t straighten the towels in the bathroom.

So I’m just going to keep my theory that they hire actors (which is really everyone’s first theory right? Say yes).

I’ll keep you updated on further advances in my internet dating research advances.

By that, I mean I’m going to head over to the Missed Connections page at craigslist for my normal Sunday evening entertainment.

Filed under: advertising, back off my man b!@&#!, homefield advantage, lazy, media misery, reality tv, television, um hmm girlfriend, we are the internet

Fan Girl Squee

Fan Girl Squee

Originally uploaded by yoursournotes

where can i get one, dammit?!?!

and can i customize it to say ” 😉 of course you’re my boo.” on the back?!

this is one of those times where i wish i was like, steve jobs or oprah, hell, i’d take lindasy lohan, so i could get my personal assistant [assistants if you’re oprah, or jesus] to be like “GET ME ONE OF THOSE SHIRTS STAT,BITCH!!!” ya dig?

Filed under: back off my man b!@&#!, politics schmolitics, pop culture, television, Uncategorized, anderson cooper, boo, coop, my boo, not, the silver fox

I wish i could somehow doctor myself into this video

[redlasso id=”bde1a1b5-d325-43ff-aa33-c87303a46754″]
just so i could pretend for a second that anderson cooper-the silver fox that is, wanted to be my boo.

sigh, some old black ladies on CNN have all the luck.i hope to someday come across an anderson cooper cardboard cut-out just to steal it, actually, i’ll write back later, i’ve got some mean ebay searchin’ to do. ;P

Filed under: politics schmolitics, pop culture, silly americans, television, Uncategorized, anderson, boo, cooper, the silver fox

THIS AMERICAN LIFE!!!!

Technorati Tags: this american life,ira glass,iraqi,iraq,ask an iraqi,crazy americans,politics

This American Life is back!!! pretty much, if you’ve never seen this show, you are an effing tard (or your parents don’t pay for SHOWTIME) either way, you are screwed. tonight, i am currently watching a segment ira (that’s Ira Glass) calls “Act I: Ask an Iraqi”. it’s already one of my favorite. i recommend it. there’s an eleven year-old girl apologizing to an Iraqi for us invading their country and “acting like we owned it”. screw hilary, obama, mccain, and whoever else you are considering voting for. this little girl knows where its at, i kind of wish i could vote for her, and i wish she was my best friend.

Filed under: life support, politics schmolitics, pop culture, silly americans, television