How To Adapt Books For Television

psyyyyych! (i’m bring that back, in case i didn’t tell you) i don’t know how to adapt books into tv shows, but that’s okay, neither does anyone else!

i’ll start with exhibit a: sex and the city

 

i’m actually not even qualified to determine how legit the transference of SATC is from book to tv to movie, mostly because the only reason i watch sex and the city is because one night i was watching 48 hours mystery and accidentally slipped onto my tv remote (save for another post). low and behold, sex and the city was on and i couldn’t stop watching it. i used to not be able to stand sjp ( sara jessica parker. i’m trendy like that) except for in failure to launch (again,save for another post and don’t judge) and considered myself to be the last person to watch this show. but now i can’t stop, i even downloaded the first season and have a season pass on my tivo.

i digress.

but now, the real reason i am writing this post:

exhibit b: gossip girl

i don’t think this really even counts as a book to tv adaptation. because i’m pretty sure all they did was read the first book while they where drunk at a a christmas party and then locked it away in a company desk. let’s be for real here for anyone who has read the book(s):

 

1. chuck and blair?!? for real?
2. chuck is straight?!?!?!?!? again, for real??
3. vanessa? where are her doc martens? her shaved head? her dgaf attitude???
4. jenny? where is her curly brown hair? her strange height? where are her unnaturally large breasts?
5. and where is chuck’s pet monkey, cupcake???

WHY?!?! at least bring back cupcake, that devious little monkey. i honestly don’t even care about everything else, just give me cupcake. and don’t even get me started on rufus. or aaron rose, he’s supposed to have dreads and smoke herbal cigs, instead he’s a douchey swinger.

what did i do to deserve this?

Filed under: adaptations, boo, books, fashion faux pa, gossip girl, hot mess, life support, oh no you didn't, pop culture, read, television

Spring Semester Countdown: 14 More Days

and i am going nutz (that’s what the kids say these days). i have a practically full tivo and i don’t want to watch any of it. this is nothing new though, since i already finished

the bachelor

true/real beauty (the actual title escapes me)

gossip girl (don’t judge)

momma’s boys (again, don’t judge.)

i even took up knitting! i did all of this in a 6-hour time frame!

if the spring semester doesn’t start soon, i’m going to start drinking coffee and re-locate to starbucks. i’m sure i have a screenplay somewhere in my head. if not, i’ll probably just order a hot chocolate and write on imdb message boards and comment on gawker posts like i always do.

Filed under: boo, crafty, lazy, life support, reality tv, school, television, we are the internet

Before I Start My "Weekly Sunday Homework Rush"

Today, I’m feeling extra fierce. As in Sasha Fierce. Yes, I know I shouldn’t encourage Beyonce‘s nosense. But, you have to admit: even though she is the farthest thing from fierce, she inspires some pretty fierce stuff. Exhibit A:

I mean, wow. Those moves. I don’t know how long that song has been out, but this guy means one thing: business dedication.

But now, my personal fave:

Yes. You just watch that. I literally want to be that little boy when I grow up. Not really, but I want to watch a few episodes of Project Runway, What Not To Wear, and Beverly Hills, 90210 (The original one, where real bitch fights actually occur) just to get his insight on life. This kid needs his own after school dance special, or at least to be on Yo Gabba Gabba. He has some real serious moves going on. HE KICKED A CHAIR, DAMMNIT! He even did the splits in that amazing finish! Perfect 10.

And for my dance-off results:

The first guy has some real serious business going on. And I’m not sure (Because I refuse to watch a Beyonce music video) but I’m pretty sure he juist copied her dance moves; so I’ll have to dock some originality points.

However, the kid in the second video isn’t nearly as polished, mostly because he’s a kid. But he has some real Footloose potential, so I’ll make note to email Zac Efron‘s agent later.

But now the main reason: I get flashbacks of Christian Bale in The Machinist watching the first video, and that just ain’t cool.

EAT A DAMN SANDWICH GIRLFRIEND!

Filed under: crafty, danceoff, dancin' fool, life support, more woman than me, music, oh no she didn't, pop culture, silly americans, um hmm girlfriend

THIS AMERICAN LIFE!!!!

Technorati Tags: this american life,ira glass,iraqi,iraq,ask an iraqi,crazy americans,politics

This American Life is back!!! pretty much, if you’ve never seen this show, you are an effing tard (or your parents don’t pay for SHOWTIME) either way, you are screwed. tonight, i am currently watching a segment ira (that’s Ira Glass) calls “Act I: Ask an Iraqi”. it’s already one of my favorite. i recommend it. there’s an eleven year-old girl apologizing to an Iraqi for us invading their country and “acting like we owned it”. screw hilary, obama, mccain, and whoever else you are considering voting for. this little girl knows where its at, i kind of wish i could vote for her, and i wish she was my best friend.

Filed under: life support, politics schmolitics, pop culture, silly americans, television

Me and Firefox are in a tussle

for some strange reason, if i leave mozilla firefox open too long, my entire laptop crashes and shuts down. weird huh? i’m  not gonna bitch about it and send hate mail to the creators, because this is most likely karma for me illegally downloading so many movies, tv shows, CDs, etc.

Technorati Tags: mozilla firefox,screw technology,internet

Filed under: lazy, life support