Let’s Get Ethical

Normallly, I laught at dating website commercials. But lately, eHarmony has been getting just a tad out of hand.

EXHIBIT A:  (The only exhibit)

Really? They expect me to believe that Joshua’s fine ass had a page on eHarmony!?

They must be nuts. Honestly, if he was in fact on eHarmony and homegirl hasn’t had her throat slit yet, we need to put her in a safehouse. If someone that goodlooking had to resort to internet dating, then there is no hope left in humanity.

If he can’t get a date without the magic of technology, he either:

       A. Is a serial killer, Patrick Bateman style (Look it up, kids)

       B. Lives on his family’s beet farm, Dwight Schrute status (Again, look it up kids)

       C. Is like that guy in that Julia Roberts movie (whose name escapes me) who beats a woman’s ass if she doesn’t straighten the towels in the bathroom.

So I’m just going to keep my theory that they hire actors (which is really everyone’s first theory right? Say yes).

I’ll keep you updated on further advances in my internet dating research advances.

By that, I mean I’m going to head over to the Missed Connections page at craigslist for my normal Sunday evening entertainment.

Filed under: advertising, back off my man b!@&#!, homefield advantage, lazy, media misery, reality tv, television, um hmm girlfriend, we are the internet

Living In Southern California Advantage #001

This isn’t really an advantage to living in Southern California as much as it is being a tourist, but I thought I’d post it anyway:

So, this one time I was at the Waterworld show (Don’t even get me started on why E.T. and Back To The Future were taken away from us but this show is still around…along with Backdraft) but anyway, apparently, Universal Studios shows are the place to go for actors in between jobs. For example, this guy: from Twilight which I don’t care about at all, and The O.C. which I totally cared about (and still has a special place in my heart) is/was totally in the Waterworld show! Along with some guy from CSI: New York, JAG, and Eva Longoria! Okay, I made that last one up, but she probably makes guest appearances from time to time. I don’t know why I’m so enthused with this, because no one i tell cares, but you should! Why? Because imagine all the other celebs floating around in the Van Helsing Haunted House or in the Homer Simpson costume. What if Neil Patrick Harris was apart of the tram ride before How I Met Your Mother was casting? And what if Joaquin Phoenix takes over this Twilight guy’s role in Waterworld? Important stuff people, important stuff.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go purchase season passes to Legoland, Disneyland, and Universal Studios.

P.S.

That Guy‘s name is Cam Gigandet and apparently, he totally has a ponytail in Twilight which is yet another reason I won’t be seeing it. (Look out for that post later).

P.P.S.

Am i the only one that thinks that scarf is completely unnecessary? Who the duece is running these GAP ads now days? Lindsay Lohan?! I’m not gonna hate though, he still looks DAMN GOOD. i should probably go rent The O.C. and the In The Land of Women. Oh dang! I just made a six degrees reference there:

Cam Gigandet is in Twilight with Kristen Stewart who was in In the Land of Women with Adam Brody, who was in The O.C. I could probably go all the way to Kevin Bacon but I’ve already crossed the line with these so…

Filed under: back off my man b!@&#!, cam gigandet, delicious, homefield advantage, read, six degrees of keving bacon, southern california